Photo Credit: Demi Lovato/Instagram
Demi Lovato just kicked off her new podcast 4D with Demi Lovato today with a bang. Designed to discuss issues liked LGBTQ issues and social activism, her first episode aired with her coming out as non-binary.
View this post on Instagram
“Over the past year and a half, I’ve been doing some healing and self-reflective work,” said the 28-year-old singer. “And through this work, I’ve had the revelation that I identify as non-binary. With that said, I’ll officially be changing my pronouns to they/them. I feel that this best represents the fluidity I feel in my gender expression and allows me to feel most authentic and true to the person I both know I am, and still am discovering.”
Regarding the new pronouns, Demi said they’re “learning and coming into myself” and “don’t claim to be an expert.” Brought on to help with the discussion was gender non-conforming writer and performer Alok Vaid-Menon they met through Sam Smith in a previous discussion about being non-binary. During the show, Lovato described being non-binary as “you are not exclusively a man nor a woman.”
GLAAD describes being non-binary as “terms used by some people who experience their gender identity and/or gender expression as falling outside the categories of man and woman. They may define their gender as falling somewhere in between man and woman, or they may define it as wholly different from these terms. The term is not a synonym for transgender or transsexual and should only be used if someone self-identifies as non-binary and/or genderqueer.”
Sometimes this vocabulary can be a bit much and that’s something that Lovato understands. They said that “it would mean the world if people could start identifying me as they/them.” They said it would be “be accepting” if people “slip” and use the incorrect pronouns but would appreciate it if people started “making the effort.” They went on to say, “I think it’s important because I want to use these pronouns that feel right to me. I also just don’t want people to be so afraid of messing up that they don’t try to use them.” Vaid-Menon said it would take “practice and commitment.”
“I feel like the reason why that happened was because I was ignoring my truth, and I was suppressing who I really am in order to please stylists or team members or this or that, or even fans that wanted me to be the sexy, feminine pop star in the … leotard and look a certain way, you know?” they said.
Lovato’s doing what they can to prevent returning to where they were “a few years ago.” They almost lost their life in an overdose that resulted in three strokes and a heart attack in 2018. To prevent relapsing, they said they spend “every day of my life, I’m going to do whatever I can to live my truth to the fullest — and be as loud as I can with it so that other people feel comfortable living their truth as well.”
In a Instagram post to promote this show, they captioned it saying, “Sharing this with you now opens another level of vulnerability for me. I’m doing this for those out there that haven’t been able to share who they truly are with their loved ones. Please keep living in your truths and know I am sending so much love your way.”
View this post on Instagram
Now here’s where things get sticky. Lovato said they were pansexual back in March which meant they were attracted to all genders. They said they were proud to join the “alphabet mafia.” Personally, that’s not a statement I would have made because there are people who see the LGBT community as bullies and it unwittingly just confirms that. Either way, we hope she’s happy. Also, I’ll add that a lot of the LGBT community language in recent years has become overly complicated.
The pendulum always swings and I predict things will simplify and work themselves out soon because even as a gay man, I have a hard time trying to remember some of the new words added from a few years back. I don’t feel like fighting with anyone so I try to address people as they wish as far as I can remember and am aware.
