Photo Credit: Jessica Simpson/Instagram

Jessica Simpson really opened up about quite a lot in her biography Open Book that’s out February 4th. She says she would have written something similar in the past but there were parts of her life she wasn’t ready to talk about. The previous offer was a “living your best life,” guide and she says she turned it down stating, “I’m a horrible liar,” and that she was actually at “rock-bottom” at the time due to her alcohol and pill problem. “I didn’t feel comfortable talking about myself in a way that wasn’t true or honest,” she said.

She was able to turn things around with rehab, therapy and the help of her husband, she said. “Quitting was the easy part,” she continued. “I was mad at that bottle. At how it allowed me to stay complacent and a bit numb.” Pulling back the cloak of secrecy she says was the hard part, describing it as a “hard, deep emotional journey.” She went on to say “With this book, I want the freedom to say, ‘Well, there are no more secrets,’” she said. “Honesty is hard. But it’s the most rewarding thing we have. And getting to the other side of fear is beautiful.”

A few things contributed to her wanting to stop drinking to include going to her child’s school at 7:30 in the morning already tipsy once. She hosted a Halloween party that evening and say that after zoning out she was ashamed to say she had no idea who got the kids in their costumes. She said she was terrified to let them see her in that shape.

At one point in the book, she says she went to meet with Tommy Mottola in hopes of transitioning her career from a small town singer to a superstar, and him telling her to lose 15 pounds at about 17 caused her to embark on 20 years of abusing diet pills. “That’s what it will take to be Jessica Simpson,” is what he told her. At 5’3 and 118 pounds already, she said, “I immediately went on an extremely strict diet, and started taking diet pills, which I would do for the next 20 years,” she writes in the book. As time progressed, she said, “I started to hear voices when I was alone at night, waiting for the sleeping pill to kick in…”Do more sit-ups, fat ass.”

For all of what Simpson has gone through, she’s still managed to be wildly successful. She started out in music but now has a billion dollar clothing line. That’s not bad for someone with literally decades of substance abuse. Along with her book comes 6 new songs talking about her addiction problems if you get the audiobook version. Again, Open Book will be in stores February 4th.