Photo Credit: Bravo

Last night was the opening episode for Season 13 of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, which I missed the first 15 minutes. Don’t worry, I saw the show a total of 3 times, mostly because I didn’t feel like moving and you know Bravo, they keep airing shows after they come on. My initial shock was opening twitter and seeing Kenya Moore trending a quarter into the show and saw that people laughing about her getting a divorce. I’ll let you all know my exact thoughts I tweeted upon seeing that. “I open Twitter and ppl are laughing at Kenya Moore getting a divorce. That’s exactly why half of you are miserable, bald and missing a side tooth now. #RHOA”

Then there was the second time I saw the show and looking at the tweets in real time I saw nothing but fat jokes about Moore this time. On her way to the divorce attorney, she was so distraught she was missing turns, talked about how she couldn’t close her dress and called herself fat on the phone speaking to her friend Brandon Deshazar. Her divorce lawyer even told her to stop being self-deprecating and putting all of the blame on herself. While driving to go see him, she said she gained 30 pounds and if a woman says 30 pounds, it’s probably at least 40. Mind you, this is a big difference from the fitness model body that she came to Atlanta with carrying an “I’ll steal your man” attitude back in 2012. (Also, see her banter with Apollo Nida.)

Being quarantined at home during a pandemic, separated from her husband with a young child and at almost 50, a little weight gain is understandable. And given how most people look like they ate up a person or two while on quarantine trying to eat the entire refrigerator at once, it’s quite hypocritical to see people mocking weight gain right now. Sidebar: I’ve spent plenty of time working at home over the years so I’m used to it. I also didn’t just experience a divorce and have the metabolism of a 49 year old, so that’s different. And imagine cleaning a 7,000 square foot home that’s completely white with a toddler.

The rest of the show displayed Porsha Williams protesting over Breonna Taylor with Kandi Burruss pointing out how far she’s come from her days of thinking the Underground Railroad had an actual train. Marlo Hampton is taking the pandemic procedures seriously showing up to events with tape measure and a digital thermometer so she wins Most Adherent in that category. (Nevermind that Porsha said she was the safest later last night during Watch What Happens Live.) And there was the scene of Mike Hill talking about the difference in sex with Cynthia Bailey without kids in the house vs having them there. He said she sounded like a car with the battery trying to start with her head under the pillow. Let me find out he’s putting it down having to muffle his woman to keep from waking the house up. Hey Mike. J/k.

The episode was rather serious but a different tone from previous seasons with everyone embarking on very different parts of their lives now. Cynthia Bailey is getting married, Porsha Williams has gone full blown activist, Kenya Moore is getting out of an abusive marriage, Kandi Burruss is seeing her daughter Riley off to college and next week we have Drew Sedora from That’s So Raven to look forward to meeting as she joins the cast.