Photo Credit: PnB Rock/TikTok

It’s been a year since Philly born rapper PNB Rock was gunned down in front of his girlfriend Stephanie Sibounheaung in a Los Angeles Roscoe’s Chicken ‘N Waffles and she’s opened up about how she’s suffered from depression still in dealing with it. In a message to her 700,000 followers this Tuesday on Instagram, she wrote, “I’ve been in the deepest depression for a lil min contemplating todays date, which makes a year since your transition. I argued with God about openly reliving this day and i absolutely did not want to, so this is an act of obedience. This same day last year, you could look into my eyes and and tell my soul was not in my body.”

She continued, “All I could hear were the gunshots over and over and they were so LOUD I couldn’t hear myself think. I was so terrified and heartbroken. You came to me and Lani wearing all white and said those were not gunshots, they were fireworks.”

What made things so bad during his murder was that the internet was running rampant with people like Kodak Black blaming her for the act because she posted where they were eating. But she did have Cardi B and Marc Lamont Hill among others come to her defense saying to stop blaming her when anything could have happened. Weeks after his death, she said that if it wasn’t for his sacrifice, she wouldn’t be here today. She posted to Instagram, “My man saved my life, Throwing me under that table. I’m not supposed to be here but bc of him. I am. No one would be able to handle this.”

“So today, I will push thru and be joyful and celebrate you, just like you asked me to do. For I know this Earth is temporary and we will spend eternity together. You’re a legend and not only that…but a hero. I’m forever yours and forever loyal to you,” Sibounheuang concluded in her post. “I will live my life to the fullest because you gave your life for me. Thank you Lord for carrying us through a whole year and every day after this. 12/09-09/12 @pnbrock ♾️.”

His death was one that rocked the hip hop community as it caused many to think about the dangers of being a rapper. It was just earlier in an interview with DJ Akademiks he ironically said, “People see me out with my family, and I guess they think I’m out here lackin. Where I’m from, we, like, sneaky criminals. But in LA, they bold.” In a video paying tribute to him at the time of his death, Rick Ross said, “The whole thing about getting up, grinding and hustling is, it’s all about getting your own. A young king should be able to eat a waffle with his family without losing about his own. Get your own.”

As the 50th anniversary of hip hop gets celebrated by those such as Vice President Kamala Harris outside dancing to Q-Tip’s Vivrant Thing at the celebration she through at her home, we pray for the longevity of hip hop and for events such as the untimely death of PnB Rock. And we certainly pray for his girlfriend’s peace in this 1 year anniversary of his death.