Photo Credit: Nia Long/Instagram
The internet has been in shambles all day since news broke that Celtics coach Ime Udoka cheated on Nia Long. Not only did he cheat but it was with a female member of the team’s staff which is a franchise code of conduct violation. And this is Nia Long we’re talking about. She has long been established as an archetype of what black men want to date so the concept of this happening just doesn’t add up. So we’ve put together a list of 10 ways she can get her lick back for him cheating.
10. Have your mother run over his motorcycle like Rasheeda’s did Kirk Frost
Okay, we’re not sure if he’s a motorcycle rider but if he is, nothing beats destroying a man’s toys and when Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta star and rapper Rasheeda’s mother drove clear over his motorcycle, we’re still shook over that.
9. Have their mistress’ car repossessed like Wendy Williams
Wendy Williams found out that her husband Kevin Hunter had bought a woman he had been dating for over a decade that she pretended to know nothing about a Ferrari with her money. She put a quick end to that and had the car repo’d.
8. When your sister spazzes on them, smile and let it play out like Beyonce did Jay-Z
Not only did Solange go all upside Jay-Z’ head in that elevator at the Met Gala in 2014 after reports of him cheating came out, Beyonce was seen smiling as he was holding his jaw when the elevator opened looking at Solange as if to say “I am so proud.”
7. Coordinate with the other woman to confront him like Teairra Mari and Amber Diamond did Cisco Rosado
Teairra Mari was shopping with her man Cisco, getting styled by Joe Exclusive when out walks Cisco’s other woman Amber in what she picked. After nearly coming to blows, the two tag teamed Cisco where Amber arranged to have Teairra come over first thing in the morning after they both got out of bed, confronted him and left him alone.
6. Throw out his clothes like Iggy Azalea did Nick Young
Iggy Azalea had a classic tv villain moment with Nick Young by throwing all of his belongings outside and had his car towed. She’s denied both but how else did his things end up outside? She did, however admit to torching his clothes in a fire pit so I don’t know if that’s supposed to be better or not.
5. Tell the world they’re actually gay like Porsha Williams did Kordell Stewart
When Porsha Williams joined the cast of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, she was the most submissive housewife. She wouldn’t go to a nightclub or anything without telling her husband and broke down into tears about a night out with the cast. When it was all over and he sent her her wedding dressed balled up in the bottom of a box, she started hinting about his sexuality being in question. Well, it actually has been since the 90s and had pretty much subsided until she brought it up again.
4. Reveal his shortcomings like Brittany Murphy did Ashton Kutcher
When asked about her breakup with Ashton Kutcher, Brittany Murphy said that the entire crux of the relationship was that for Kutcher age didn’t matter and for her, size didn’t matter.
3. Make a music video burying their new man alive like Kanye did Kim Kardashian’s new boyfriend Pete Davidson
Imagine starting a new relationship and the ex chose to make a claymation video of you burying you alive and planting a tree over your still alive body. That’s what Kanye did to Pete Davidson and it drove him into therapy. It also caused Kanye to have appearances canceled in solidarity with Kim that he had gone too far.
2. Sh** in his shoes like Tiffany Haddish did
Tiffany Haddish said after finding out an ex cheated she ate a bunch of corn and took a dump in one of his shoes and then let him put them on unaware shouting “All the s- you put me through!”
1. Sue him for wasting her time like Mariah Carey
Mariah Carey was engaged to billionaire James Packer and yet when they broke up she sued him for $50 million saying he caused her to miss out on work. She ended up getting $5 million which is still impressive in the realm of breakups.
We write this piece in jest but Nia, don’t do anything we wouldn’t do.
