Photo Credit: James Harden/Instagram; Tobias Dorzon/Instagram; FrankNDrone/Instagram

James Harden looks like he’s going to have a hard time with his Midtown Houston restaurant Thirteen later this month if his reviews are any indication of how things are going to be going. Yes, you read that right. He’s currently getting bombarded with bad reviews without so much as a private tasting. They’re all faulty claims from angry fans of his. His trade from the Houston Rockets to the Brooklyn Nets hasn’t exactly landed well with his fans.

Reviews for the restaurant have varied from “Literal trash just like James harden” to “Owner doesn’t know how to cook it up in the court” to “Doesn’t quite have that championship taste.” Others said, “toxic owner, food just never comes out finished. definitely a choking hazard. owner walked out on the chefs he brought in himself. wouldn’t touch this place with a 4 mile long pole.” And one of the best included words from his final game presser saying, “I literally have done everything that I can. I mean, this situation is crazy. It’s something that I don’t think can be fixed.” Now that was clever.

But at least it’s easy to see the reviews aren’t directly related to the restaurant itself for potential customers. We’d probably suggest he invest in a reputataion management service to help scrub these reviews. They’re a nice troll but he does have a business to run.

The restaurant Thirteen, named after Harden’s jersey and will be ran by former NFL player turned chef Tobias Dorzon. For the reality tv fans, you’ll recognize him as the chef Lil Kim hired for the cruise and um, pretty fine if we do say so ourselves. You may see him pop up in our Eye Candy section in the future. He was supposed to go in there but we forgot. (I knew he looked familliar.)

The restaurant is the former space of Mr. Peeples at 1911 Bagby Street. Other athletes he’s served include Tyrod Taylor, DeSean Jackson, and Lebron James. You can expect an upscale twist on comfort food like s on comfort food dishes like fries spiced with Old Bay and drenched in Maryland crab cream sauce, deep-fried red snapper, and a Harden-inspired dish called the Sun Devil which includes roasted oysters topped with creamed collard greens and candied bacon.

So guys, you all had your fun but can you lay off the review trolling. Go pick on someone who deserves it like Chad Ochocinco’s I Am Athlete podcast for headbutting his ex-wife Evelyn Lozada. Just saying.

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